According to THE TRUTH ABOUT CHEATING, there are eight steps cheating men MUST take before their wives can take them back. Some are obvious and others are surprising but necessary for healing after an affair:
- Apologize for infidelities
- Be willing to listen – Let your wife have the opportunity to share her pain
- Discuss the affair – Only discuss details that refer to the issue of how the affair came about. Sharing too much can be harmful to reconciliation
- Change your lifestyle – Both spouses should put thought and energy into understanding why the affair happened and how to avoid letting it happen again
- Discuss the changes you feel are required from your spouse
- Be prepared to make changes to your life, even if you believe they did not contribute to the infidelity
- Commit to a long period of healing – It takes many months, up to a year, for a spouse to relax and trust a partner who has had an affair
- Remember that rebuilding trust will be achieved through your loving focus
The Truth About Cheating 